Inspired by this NY Times On Language article, I present some medical portmanteau:

• Labnormalities: Dear lord, LFTs are all messed up; this guy’s got a lot of labnormalities, but it looks like it’s all from his chronic alcoholism.
• High-NR: I have no idea who thought it’d be a good idea to put this alcholic GI bleeder on coumadin, but judging by all that melena, he’s definitely going to have a High-NR.
• Awheezile: Yeah, she was both inspiratory and expiratory when she came in, but after nebs and steroids she’s totally awheezile and asking to leave.
• Pelvicize: The ultrasound’s normal, but I guess I should still pelvicize her to make sure her os is closed.
• Milk of Amnesia: Let’s secure the tube and start the milk of amnesia drip, please.
• Sprintubate: We’d better sprintubate: that neck hematoma’s not getting any smaller. (Okay, fine, I’ve never used this one.)